Pool halls in heaven beware, there is a
new player in town, so grab your wallets!
My father passed away last Friday, at 11:48
am, and it was a beautiful thing. My parents
mortality has always been my biggest fear.
They mean so damn much to me, and I always
thought I should go before they did. Dad's
ordeal really opened my eyes, and had it not
been for my sisters and mom, what I had
feared became the most amazing experience of
my life.
I always maintained that I had two heros in
life. They were people who really shaped my
interests. But, now I have many new heroes.
Let's start with my sisters. Dian, Jocelyn,
Marcia and Susie were by my dad's side
constantly during his last two weeks. They
exhibited more strength than I ever could
muster. They would rub dad's feet and hands,
clean him, talk to him, scold him for not
eating, in essence making his last days on
this earth as quality filled as anyone could
imagine. Jocelyn opened up her home, not
only for Dad's last days, but anyone who
wanted to enter, whether to see Dad, or just
to hang out. All four of them made
themselves available at all times, kept up
on his medication, questioned doctors orders
that didn't feel right, the list goes on and
on.
When Dad was "in the prison", meaning the
adult care home near Jocelyns house in
Renton, they were there daily, sacrificing
family time, because they all knew what they
were doing was absolutely the right thing.
Their support of my feelings and commitments
during this time will never be forgotten.
When we went through this a little over a
year ago, due to issues at the job I had at
the time, and my fears of my fathers demise,
I took the path of least resistance, and
withdrew from the reality. They understood
that this wasn't an easy thing for me to go
through, we all talked about it, and I
resolved that it was going to be different
the next time around. I hope that I met with
their approval.
Mom was her strong self as well, visiting
with Dad every day, making sure that he knew
that he was loved, not only by her, but by
Fritz and Kimo as well. Seeing Fritz and
Kimo not leaving Dad's bed until the very
end was one of the coolest parts of the
process.
My neice Brooke falls into the hero category
as well. She, along with my sisters, put her
life on hold for the duration, to make sure
her Grandpa's last days were filled with
love and care. She would bring humor into
the room, and I know that Dad loved her very
very much. Her support of Jocelyn and my
sisters was at the very least impressive.
To the "adopted" family members, Sherrie,
Marilu and Karina, Katie, and my cousins
Carol and Annette, thank you for joining us.
I'm sure there are many more that need to be
included here, and I apologize for not
naming you. Our family, and my parents in
particular, always welcome our friends into
the family, and once you're in, it's a bitch
to get out!
It was my wish not to be in Dad's room when
he took his last breath. Both Marcia and I
felt the same way, and all involved
respected our wishes. My brother in law
Nigel called me at work right after he died,
and told me it was over. I got down to
Jocelyns house as soon as I could, and Mom
asked if I wanted to see him. I struggled on
the way down to Renton as to how I was going
to handle this whole deal. I did want to see
him, and it was unreal. To use a tired
cliche, he looked like he was asleep.
My sisters had made sure that he was
dressed, as his dignity had suffered enough,
and they wanted to go out with as much
diginity as they could. For that, I will be
forever grateful. I spent some time with
him, thanking him for all he had done for me
and my family, and told him to have a great
time in the next chapter. He was an amazing
father, friend, and supporter. When it came
time for him to be taken away, I was honored
to be the one who stood by mom's side,
listening to Fritz growl as the people from
the mortuary took him away. I held the door
open to the van, said goodbye, and away he
went. An incredible experience, to say the
least.
I highly encourage you to read my sister
Susie's blog, which can be found at this
address
http://slk-susiesblog.blogspot.com/index.html/
She is a great writer, and her blogs should
be required reading.
Thanks to all who were aware of my father's
situation. We will be having a party in his
honor at 2pm this Saturday, June 16 at
Jocelyns house, and we'll send him out with
a bang.
- Steve Mortland
